Concerned Citizens for Family Law and Alimony Reform

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***Call to Organize***

Alienated Parents - Call to Action - 2015


Money is one of the main key’s to influence. Money is what drove a VETO on ‪#‎SB668‬. Nothing else. Follow the trail as we have. We want an open an INCLUSIVE process towards alimony reform. We are in the preliminary stage of creating a political action committee (PAC) to represent our voice. Our PAC will be dedicated to FAMILY LAW REFORM with a focus on alimony, child-share, parental alienation and lawyer billing practices.

We are seeking TALENTED volunteers (there will be no paid positions) to work with our group in various roles.

In no way is this organization meant to replace the efforts of other fine organizations. Our purpose is to ensure reform occurs, our voices are heard, and we are influencing the outcome and agenda of family law reform.

Private message us if you have an interest in volunteering for the leadership and support roles for Concerned Citizens for Family Law Reform PAC.

Equal Custody Bill Passes Florida Senate | HT Politics


A divided Florida Senate backed a child-sharing bill on Tuesday that would put Florida at the leading edge of efforts to give divorcing parents equal custody of children.

But the bill (SB 250), which cleared the Senate in a 23-15 vote, is headed toward a roadblock in the House, where leaders are pushing an alimony-reform bill that does not have a child-sharing provision.

House Rules Chairman Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, said the House is prepared to pass an alimony bill (HB 455), sponsored by Rep. Colleen Burton, R-Lakeland, but is not considering other issues that have “weighed down” past reform efforts.

“We are concentrating on alimony reform,” Workman said. “Anything to do with not alimony is not germane in the House.”

Sen. Tom Lee, R-Brandon, sponsor of the Senate bill, anticipated the House opposition, and some weeks ago he said he asked Senate President Andy Gardiner, R-Orlando, to reach out to House Speaker Steve Crisafulli, R-Merritt Island, to create an informal working group to work out the differences on the child-sharing and alimony legislation.

Lee, who has clashed with Workman, said the working group would have focused “not on egos and personalities but policy differences.”

“They’ve rejected that idea,” Lee said. “So maybe they’re not interested in any of these reforms this year. I don’t know. But it certainly isn’t personal with me. This is all good public policy.”

Lee, a former Senate president and the current Senate budget chairman, said the legislative process works best when lawmakers “respect the priorities of each other, not just our own.” He cited his commitment to House Appropriations Chairman Richard Corcoran, R-Land O’Lakes, to put a House leadership bill on teacher bonuses, which is not popular in the Senate, up for a vote in the Senate.

“Rather than try to stick somebody up at gunpoint for something I know is their priority, I would like to try to help them move something and hope that they don’t mistake kindness for weakness,” Lee said.

Under the Senate child-sharing bill, child-custody cases would start with the legal presumption that both parents would equally share child care, unless a judge made a finding in writing to modify that arrangement. The bill provides some 22 factors, including 20 already in law, to guide the custody decision.

Lee said the 50-50 child-sharing presumption would create “greater predictability and reliability” in custody cases, replacing the current and vaguer policy of children having “frequent and continuing contact with both parents.”

“Both (parents) will be treated equally when they enter the courthouse door, and the court will then consider the facts of the case,” Lee said.

Nine states and the District of Columbia have a presumption that equal custody is in the best interest of children, according to Senate analysts. Another nine states provide that presumption if the parents agree.

“Society has changed,” Lee said, citing statistics showing more women are the major breadwinners in families. “It is time to reduce litigation costs in the family law system.”

But Lee’s bill drew opposition on the Senate floor.

Sen. Jeff Clemens, D-Lake Worth, said he had not seen any convincing data that children would be better off starting with the presumption of equal child sharing in divorce cases.

“Every one of (the divorce cases) has its own interesting twists and turns and its own set of facts,” Clemens said. “Telling the courts that we want them to start from a certain position is prejudicing them even before the case begins.”

Conversation about Parental Alienation - 2016

Source: Florida Senate OKs equal custody bill | February 23, 2016 | Lloyd Dunkelberger | HT Politics

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Why the Genetics of Psychopathy Matters in Child Custody

George Bernard Shaw said,

“We live in an atmosphere of shame. We are ashamed of everything that is real about us; ashamed of ourselves, of our relatives, of our incomes, of our accents, of our opinion, of our experience, just as we are ashamed of our naked skins.”

What is Generational Shame and
How Does it Affect Us?


The concept of shame can often be misunderstood and confused with guilt. The “cliff note” definition is we feel guilty for what we do and we feel shame for what we are. There are basically two types of shame, healthy shame and toxic shame. Healthy shame lets us know when our actions have gone too far (such as alerting us that we are not the center of the universe), it is the foundation of our conscience. Toxic shame is feeling we are defective and unworthy (for example, “You can never do anything right! Why can’t you be more like your brother?!”)

This type of shame has been “given” to you by another. Meaning, we generally shame others as we ourselves have been shamed.

By the time we are an adult we have approximately 25,000 hours of tapes in our heads of repetitive words, actions, and messages about who we are at the core of our being. By the time we are an adult we truly believe we are either adequate or inadequate as a person.

Many experts say shame may play a major role in a host of personal and social problems, such as eating disorders, drug abuse, compulsions, depression, anxiety and rage issues. This powerful emotion has its roots in childhood, but as an adult it becomes a lifelong struggle to heal shame in order to feel worthwhile and good about oneself. The younger we were shamed the more embedded it is in our psyche.

Why have I chosen this topic and how is it related to parenting?

I believe we often go unconscious when reacting to our children for any reason we deem unacceptable or narcissistically embarrassing. This “unconscious” process stems from somewhere, it did not just appear. We are not born “defective”. Hence, the title: generational shame.

As a parent it is paramount that our child experiences our empathy, presence, compassion, and limit setting. So that when they have a temper tantrum and we are exasperated we do not abandon them emotionally. On the contrary, this is when they need you to “hold” them physically and emotionally the most.

This is challenging, especially if we were not treated with the same tolerance and acceptance of our own emotional outbursts as a child. I don’t know about you but I was spanked on occasion and I cannot tell you why I was spanked – I just remember feeling scared, terrified and sore. It taught me to be afraid of adults and authority figures, it did nothing for my sense of self.

As a biased mother of four beautiful children I have been afforded the presence of mind and foresight not to use physical punishment or abusive shame to get my child to “shape up.” And, guess what? They are really good kids, full of opinions and who feel safe in their home. I did not pass the baton of shame.
I may not be perfect, but I’m certainly not abusive.

How can we help ourselves to stay present in our interactions with our children?

I think “mindfulness” and reflecting on what might be going on in your child’s mind is a great start. When you find yourself getting impatient, irritated, exasperated, angry, and irritable, take a breath. Stop interacting. Reflect on your emotional state and how you could respond differently.  Ask yourself what it is that’s being triggered inside of you? What is your child really saying with their words and actions? Why are they behaving the way they are?

These questions are what “reflective parenting” is all about; keeping your child’s mind, in mind.  Reflective parenting is about a conversation and next week I’m going share different ways to engage in that conversation so that all of us have the opportunity to break the chain of generational shame.

Looking for PAS Support?

However, beware, you may find yourself in more conflict with some folks on these forums than with the alienation.

Saddest thing in the world - 2016First you should decide what type of group you want to be a part.  Support?  Do you want to find people to lift you up when you are down, or tell you their experiences and what worked or did not work for them?  Maybe you just want to spread awareness about the family court system and the pitfalls one can easily fall in to?  Maybe you would much rather join an organization that already has its feet in the water in order to bring about change.  Whatever it is you are looking for, try to find a specific group.  It is my experience that when these topics are mixed, then more conflict and in-fighting arises, and I’m sure that more conflict is the LAST thing you are looking for.

So, browse Facebook.  Contact your local Parental Alienation awareness organization.  Search  Google, Google, Google.  facebookHey, if you can’t find what you’re looking for you can always start your own!

Here’s a tip:  Try not to get sucked into the heated debates, arguments, and instigators’ ploys to upset you; they very, very rarely make anyone change their minds.  Although, I have to say I’ve personally learned a lot about people in the PAS community by getting sucked in, and therefore it has broadened my understanding of this whole conundrum; although I’ve never felt good after getting sucked in.

Good luck!

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waiting for my daughter to resurface


Walter Singleton

Walter Singleton's blog, dedicated to Aiden Singleton and Seth Singleton living near Chattanooga, TN.


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